Talk To Strangers

I was born and raised in the Midwest, actually the safest small town in Ohio according to Movoto - and at top of most other lists. Needless to say, I didn’t worry about talking to strangers, even at a young age. It wasn't necessary in my circumstances.

My first experience in NYC was December of 2010 for due diligence regarding the acquisition between Geckotech and M5 Networks. (See About Page for LinkedIn Profile). I was not excited about experience that visit - even though I had an amazing upgrade at the Trump Soho that was bigger than my Chicago apartment. (I had two bathrooms, a few TVs, and an amazing view of the Hudson river.)

Over the next few years, my role change required me to travel between Chicago and NYC weekly. Often, I felt alone in hotels. I didn’t understand why people didn’t actively engage in conversation like I was accustomed to in the Midwest. When strangers did talk to me, they were typically from out of town or the Midwest.

Most of us have heard the ‘view’ of NYC. Not having ever been to NYC, it was all I knew. On the other hand, I also make a conscious decision to refrain from judgement in personal interactions and experiences - so why would I not stick to this perspective for a new city.

Fast forward two years, I moved to NYC to the wonderful community of Hell’s Kitchen. I was fortunate to get the cutest studio across from a community garden thanks to a coworker that was moving - bonus that there was no agent fee! At this time, I had grown a complete different feeling for the city. I understood the people and the city. I learned to love NYC.

My interaction with strangers changed my view of NYC

Once I allowed myself to have an open mind, I realized the stereotype of NYC was incorrect. While most people seem to be in a rush with minimal time to chit-chat like the Midwest or South, it does not make the human instinct to love and care different than any other geographic area. Most of NYC area residents live in small apartments with constant crowds on the train, coffee shops, and pretty much every place else. People need space - but they also need social interaction!

I was now immersed in the city. I walked to work everyday from Hell’s Kitchen to Midtown. Often, on my walk, several strangers complimented me - with a kind sense of authenticity. On those days, I had a strange sense of happiness. There was a great feeling of this genuine interaction.

My Smile Test

Being from the Midwest and hearing frequently of the NYC stereotype. I had an idea - test the stranger smile response. While on my way to the office, I smiled at every person I passed. My goal was to determine the percentage of those that would return the smile.

I call it a success. While I stopped after 9th Ave due to the amount of people, I counted 60%. If all made eye contact, I am confident it would have been at least 80%.

My Conclusion

People are authentic and genuine when you have an open mind and allow them into your life. Your smile or compliment can make a difference in someone’s day. Try it tomorrow on your subway ride!

Thoughts by Randa related to reference articles

Steffan’s Personality Blog shows the stereotypes across geographic areas.

My thoughts: Do we conform to the stereotypes that are given to us by society? I suggest we challenge all types of stereotypes - Everyone and every place deserves an authentic interaction - without previous judgement.

How Talking to Strangers Makes us Happier

““Interacting with a stranger ... can provide this unexpected source of boost to our mood,” she said. “People don’t seem to recognize this benefit they get from interacting with a stranger as a result of just being their most-pleasant, cheerful self.””

— Huffington Post

My thoughts: We want to be social. Why do we choose our smartphones vs real engagement with a person?

“We’ve been told since our playground days not to talk to strangers, but avoiding those everyday interactions may be slightly hurting us when it comes to our happiness as adults.”

— Huffington Post

My thoughts: We tell kids not to talk to strangers. Is it because they are still authentic and vulnerable to desire social interaction with everyone? Of course the real reason is for safety.

Additional References

These Psychologists Think We'd Be Happier If We Talked to Strangers More

Talking to Strangers Makes You Happier

What are your thoughts?

Yours Truly

ThePukkaPanda

I remember a time at work when I was told I was the happiest and most positive person, which I accept as a compliment. As this was shared during a team dinner, I told the story of Pollyanna and her use of 'The Glad Game’ to influence an entire community. One of my favorites from childhood, I was shocked that not one person in the group had seen the movie.

Not only had they not seen it, one colleague informed me that being a ‘Pollyanna’ is viewed negatively. What? I was in even more shock! Or perhaps I heard it and did not believe it based on my interpretation of the character.

What is the a desire behind over analyzing a character to find a flaw? Let's encourage people to look for the good. I will have a section of my blog, “Gladly Green” to keep the spirit of the glad game alive.

Positive perspective and optimism do not require a complete disconnection from reality - as some articles comment. Maintain a positive approach to a project at work while also understanding the details to drive and collaborate the team(s) to success.

In honor of 'Pollyanna', I created my version of the 'Pollyanna Look' today - with a quirky twist.

Pollyanna References

In Terry DeMeo's article 'The Power of Pollyanna How Gratitude Can Improve Your Health Happiness and Well Being'

““Nothing is further from the truth. Turns out, Pollyanna was right! The positive power of gratitude has been overwhelmingly proven by science. People who are consciously grateful are more energetic, more determined, think more clearly, think more methodically, make more progress towards goals, have more resilience during tough times, and are more optimistic, enthusiastic, and joyful. As if that wasn’t enough proof, the grateful are have fewer illnesses, greater immune response, and even exercise more.””

— selfgrowth.com

In Ruth Graham's article 'How We All Became Pollyannas (And Why We Should be Glad About It)'

“We’re living in a moment of total happiness obsession, in other words, and Pollyanna is our perfect mascot. Her “glad game” goes beyond simple positive thinking. Pollyanna isn’t always cheerful; she cries over disappointments large and small, and initially refuses to play the game when she suffers a major tragedy. It’s not that she’s naturally the world’s greatest optimist; rather, optimism is a tool she uses to make herself happy. Her gladness is Gladwellian: It’s not a state of mind, but rather a skill that becomes stronger with practice. As the freckled little guru herself put it, “When you’re hunting for the glad things, you sort of forget the other kind.” Welcome to the 21st century, Pollyanna. You’ll fit right in.”

— The Atlantic

In Seth Godin's post, he compares Cassandra and Pollyanna. I would rather be the Pollyanna. An optimistic view can influence positive interactions and teamwork - it doesn’t always indicate everything is fine.

To form your own opinion on the 'Pollyanna Principle', watch the movie for yourself.

What do you think?

Yours Truly

THEPUKKAPANDA